|Some of these Facebook memes can sting a little, huh?|
As July comes to a close, I realize that I have made very little progress toward some of my goals. My weight is just about where it was at the end of June. Why? Pain and cheating.
Knee pain continues to keep me from running. While walking and the classes I teach are continuing to improve my cardiopulmonary performance, I'm just not generating the strength and caloric deficits that running would give me. I had my initial visit with a Physical Therapist today. I was happy to discover that he is a runner and a student of running mechanics. We are determined to get me back on the road with more strength and stability to protect my joints from future damage. I could easily have gotten a surgeon who was eager to open me up or a therapist who only cared about getting me back to minimal functioning. Meeting Jeff was a providential match.
Oh, yeah... calories. At the same time that I'm not burning enough fuel, I've been keeping the tank filled to overflowing... or at least to the break-even point. In spite of the fact that my mental health is as good as it has been in years, (or maybe ever), I've been doing quite a bit of cheating: nervous eating. Or maybe a better word is "mindless" eating You know, the chips you munch while watching Netflix. The cookies you take with you to your favorite reading chair. The meatloaf sandwich that's on my desk right now as I'm typing this. Cheating episodes are a lot like telling lies: after the first one, they just keep getting easier to do.
I've done well eliminating one toxic influence a week from my life: Pop, Dairy Queen. Candy. Computer games. It may be time to add "eating on the go" to that list. Time to move meals from the desk or the bed to the dinner table. Maybe nutrition is too important for multitasking.
As I alluded to earlier, one area where I have made encouraging progress is my inner life: spiritually, mentally, and emotionaly. I have embraced the discipline of daily prayers, and am reading or writing nearly every day. I am learning that I am not quite as socially clumsy as I thought; people often enjoy my company, and I enjoy theirs. Maybe most importantly,I am practicing the skills I need in order to accept and make room for negative feelings without allowing them to stop me from living a rich and fulfilling life.
So, no, the weight isn't where I'd like it to be, but I'm very happy about the foundation I'm building during #reboot2014. My hope is that by staying on course on the inside, the outside won't fall apart as easily as it has in the past.
I have much to celebrate about July, and much work still to be done in August. Today, I'm just about the best Pennsy I've ever been. I'm grateful and excited to discover what the Dog Days have to teach me.